When Naughty Kids Get in Trouble

In my last post, I mentioned that two good things had resulted from the incident on Tuesday. Well, after some consideration, I have realized that I completely missed the most important benefit of all. Principal now knows that I actually produced a child that does, indeed, feel remorse for his actions. Here is what I mean. My daughter, Piper (6), was in the principal’s office within the first week of kindergarten. She made it again during the first month. AND, she was in the office during her second month to meet with a social worker because of the whole DHS thing referenced in an earlier post. They had to meet with her in the counselor’s office without me knowing. I work at the school. Imagine my mortification, if you will.
We are now down to the final two weeks of school and you would think that a kindergarten student has a pretty good handle on the rules by now. Not so. Not my child, anyway. When Piper gets home from school, she gives me her mail and then shows me her communication sheet from the teacher. Most students get a sticker on theirs. Piper will hold hers up with the back facing me and I can see LOTS of writing through the paper. My shoulders drop, my head drops and I say, “What is it?”
Monday Piper was messing around in the bathroom AGAIN. Ten minutes later she showed up to class. She will not be using the hallway bathroom anymore.
Tuesday At lunch, Piper took another child’s Twinkie, smooshed it and took a bite out of it. She spent her recess on the wall.
Wednesday Piper pulled the Twister mat right from under another student. That student fell and hit her head. Piper lost the rest of center time. Mrs. P and Mrs. N witnessed this also. (As if I might not believe it.)
Thursday There is an X on her sheet indicating there was some kind of trouble, but the lines were all used up from previous days. Not sure what happened.
Friday Piper didn’t work in her Literacy Center. She was messing around. Today was the second day that Mrs. M had to tell Piper to stay out of the mud. (Maybe that was yesterday’s issue.) She was sent to the office for recess.
Aside from Thursday, obviously, these are the actual written words of her teacher. What an eventful week for Piper. So, yes, I am kind of glad Elias got in trouble. At least he has the wherewithal to express remorse when he is sitting across from the principal in her office.

When Smart Kids Get in Trouble

On Tuesday, my son’s (Elias 9) teacher pulled me aside at school to let me know that she had to write Elias up because he had threatened to kill another student. Elias would have to meet with the principal later that day. The funny thing is, his teacher was so apologetic about it. She explained that the other student had nagged him and nagged him and nagged him (yes, a girl) until he exploded. So, later that day, the principal waved me into her office and said, “I just have to tell you about this.” When she called Elias into her office, he sat down across the desk from her. They discussed the incident briefly. He put his head down on her desk with his hands on either side. “I know, I know, it was SOOO inappropriate. I never should have said it.”

After Elias left, she called the other student in to the office to discuss the incident. The principal explained that Elias should not have said those words. The student said, “His words did surprise me, but his frustration didn’t.”

Two good things resulted from this incident. First, Principal had a great laugh because she RARELY sees remorseful students. Second, the school made a record so that someday, when my son really does go ballistic and kill someone, they will be able to say they had properly addressed the early signs of his rage.

Shout out to my new friends! Spread the word.

Rated M for mature

Just so we're clear, I do not swear in front of my kids. I think I have been honest enough in this blog for you to believe this is the truth. The worst thing I say in front of my kids is "flippin'," as in, "Get that flippin' dishwasher unloaded!" Occasionally I use a "freakin'." I have started to use the word "shit" in front of my 13-year-old. Just now and then, not every day.

My intention was to keep this blog fairly clean, but people tend to read it, or at least comment on it, more often if there is a juicy word in the title. Whether it be "douche bag" or "f***ing," the language keeps 'em coming back. Besides, to be honest, bad language is really more my style.

Yeah, I'll bet she has some big f***ing bags and wrinkles under that eye mask

Allure’s 9 Simple Steps to Younger-Looking Eyes

REALLY?!!!

Pissed off scrapbooker

I have a couple of subscriptions to scrapbooking magazines. I was flipping through one the other night and realized that I get a little pissed when I read them. I have finally figured out why. When I look at the sample layouts, I see a picture of two cute, clean kids hugging each other and I read this in the journaling, “I love to watch the relationship that is developing between the two of you. Six years separate the two of you and you get along like peas in a pod. You are our oldest and youngest, and as I watch you together I am reminded how wonderful it is to be a mother.” This makes me want to barf. I’ve seen others that read something like, “You are such a little stinker sometimes, but you are always daddy’s little angel.” First of all, I hate it when people portray their lives as perfectly harmonious and blissful. And second, I hate those people that think their kids are perfect.
Admittedly, my kids’ scrapbooks have lots of cute pictures. But, I don’t really write that much about the photo other than to identify the time and place (if I am able). I feel like that type of journaling just isn’t me. It is not my style at all.
While thinking about this post, I came up with a great idea. These blog posts would make GREAT journaling for my family scrapbooks. I will print them out and stick them on the pages next to all those super-cute photos. The only issue is that the kids love to look at their books and these posts probably are not appropriate for them to read at this point in their lives. Maybe I can make a secret book for those rated PG-13 and R pages. When the kids are old enough, I can put those pages in their books. I am totally psyched.

Douche Bag follow-up

I think I have totally ruined the phrase for my son and his two friends. Every time someone says it, they will think of me and the whole 'washing out the vagina' thing.

Don't be a douche bag

Last week, I was driving Isaac to soccer with two of his teammates. I love carpooling because I learn so much about my kids and their friends. I just pretend like I am pre-occupied with driving so they will talk more freely. The key is to not ask questions. You do not want them to think you are listening. Anyway, they were tossing around the term “douche bag,” talking about how a kid at school is always calling people “douche bags.” One of the boys in the back seat made the mistake of asking, “What does it mean, anyway?” Another one said, “Well, ‘douche’ means ‘shower’ in French.” At this point, I could resist no longer.
“Do you guys want to know what it means?” My unsuspecting victims, in unison, said, “Yeah!” “Well, I don’t even know if they make them anymore, but it’s a plastic bottle with a long nozzle on top. A woman uses it to wash out her vagina.” A short pause of absolute silence. Then a collective, “Ohhh, don’t say any more. That’s enough!” I told them, “If you guys ever want to know anything, just ask me.” Obviously, I get a giant kick out of doing this kind of thing. I am not shy about telling it like it is. The bonus is that my son will actually ask me things. So far he has asked me about condoms, periods and all kinds of things about puberty. If you want your kids to ask questions, my advice to you is to just be straightforward and fairly brief. That gives them time to let it soak in. And, they will know that a simple question won’t lead to a long, involved and uncomfortable conversation.